6 Tips for Sandwich Generation Caregivers

If you are coordinating school activities by night and your parents’ doctor’s appointments by day, you are considered part of the sandwich generation. You exist in the middle of two important roles, parent and caregiver. More than 2.5 million Americans find themselves balancing childcare and eldercare, often while holding down a full-time job.¹

In the best of circumstances, caregiving is never easy, especially if you’re coordinating the responsibilities of being a parent with being a caregiver. We’ve compiled tips to help sandwich generation caregivers stay on top of both jobs despite the heavy workload.

Staying organized is key! Create a shared calendar with both your children and parent’s appointments, events, and other important dates. It’s essential to keep all the information in one location, especially when you’re juggling numerous responsibilities. There are several calendar options, including Google Calendar, Cozi, CaringBridge and more. 

Consider everyone’s needs so you can prioritize. Make a list of what’s most important to your child, whether it’s the school play or a sporting event, so you can mark those on your calendar first. If your parents need help at the same time, see if anyone else is available whether it’s a family, friend, or paid respite service. Unless it’s an emergency, show up for your child. If for some reason you miss an important event or milestone, they’ll be more understanding because it’s the exception and not the norm.

Don’t try to do everything on your own! Lean into your support system.² That may include friends, families, and hired help. You’ll never know who’s willing to assist unless you ask, so don’t feel embarrassed if you need to reach out to your community. Many people are understanding and willing to offer their support.

Outside of your social circle, there are services available, many specifically created for the needs of seniors.

•  Home Health: Many different services fall under the home health umbrella. Professionals can include nurses, physical therapists, occupation therapists, speech-language pathologists, social workers, and home health aides.³
• Visitor and Companion Services: These may or may not cost money. Look into volunteer organizations near you. Senior centers or local government may know nearby resources and charities that are willing to help.⁴
• Meal Delivery: If your parent still loves to cook but grocery shopping is a hassle, you can use meal delivery subscription services like Blue Apron or HelloFresh. If you’re looking for prepared meals, organizations like Meals on Wheels help feed seniors in their community.
• Pet Sitters and Dog Walkers: While your parents may still enjoy the companionship of their furry friends, you can hire out the extra work involved. Consider pet sitters, daycare services, and dog walkers.
• Transportation: There are organizations that help with transportation for seniors including www.transit.dot.gov, www.eldercare.acl.gov and www.211.org.

Don’t forget to rely on your support system for your children as well. If your children are involved with after-school activities, see if they can carpool with their friends. For teenagers and older grandchildren, you may be able to keep pet-related tasks in the family. Walking the dog or helping with other animals could be their part-time job to earn some extra spending cash. 

As a member of the sandwich generation, you may find yourself helping your parents financially. Studies show that the sandwich generation believe adult children are responsible for providing financial help to aging parents.⁵ When you’re juggling childcare and assisting your parents, the financial burden can be even harder.

Investigate resources and charitable organizations dedicated to serving seniors. Many seniors qualify for programs which can help with the financial strain of caregiving. Learn about different Medicare programs, Medicaid options, food aid programs, utility help programs, etc. that may be available to them. These can vary based on your location and financial situation.⁶

While there are many jobs associated with caregiving, possibly the most important is caring for your parent’s emotional well-being. More than half of adults in their 40s and 50s report providing emotional support to their aging parents.⁷

Staying connected with regular phone calls or video calls is one way you can be there for your parents. Loneliness and social isolation can impact seniors’ health, including being associated with a higher risk of heart disease, cognitive decline, and depression.⁸ Learn more about ways seniors can cope with loneliness.

As a member of the sandwich generation, your parents may also enjoy talking to or video calling with your kids. It’s a great way to build memories that will last a lifetime.

It’s important to take care of yourself as well as your loved one. Whether you need to divide the work among family members or seek outside help, caregiving shouldn’t be a one-person job. Doing too much by yourself can lead to burnout. 

Respite care is short-term care specifically for caregivers when they need additional time to rest, travel, or take care of other responsibilities.⁹ Asking for help is an expected part of the job and doesn’t mean you’re a failure as a caregiver. Recognizing the limitations of your time is important so you’re able to provide the best care possible. 

Learn about the warning signs and ways to prevent burnout. Knowing the signs before you’re feeling overwhelmed is important so you’re able to recognize when you need to assess your own wellbeing. It’s common for caregivers to neglect their own help, so don’t skip your preventive care appointments. Keep yourself healthy so you’re able to provide the best possible care., so don’t skip your preventive care appointments. Keep yourself healthy so you’re able to provide the best possible care.

Juggling a job alongside caregiving often challenges new caregivers. The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) is there for you, offering job-protected leave. To learn more about how the FMLA applies to eldercare, visit https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fact-sheets/28C-fmla-eldercare.

Remember to give yourself grace as you balance being a parent and a caregiver. Talk to both your kids and parents so everyone knows what to expect. As with any new role, it’s a learning process and over time you’ll find how to best support your parents and your children.

Content contained on this page is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Consult your health care provider before beginning any new fitness or dietary plan. References provided are for informational purposes only and do not constitute endorsement of any websites or other sources. Should you have any health-related questions, you should contact your health care provider.

Sources:

1. Maust, Donovan. “'Sandwich Generation' Study Shows Challenges of Caring for Both Kids and Aging Parents.” University of Michigan Department of Psychiatry, 9 Dec. 2022, medicine.umich.edu.
2. “Juggling Care for Kids and Parents: Tips for Surviving in the Sandwich Generation.” University of Rochester Medical Center, urmc.rochester.edu
3.  “Our Story.” CenterWell Home Health, centerwellhomehealth.com.
4. “Services for Older Adults Living at Home.” National Institute on Aging, nia.nih.gov.
5. Parker, Kim, and Eileen Patten. “The Sandwich Generation.” Pew Research Center, 30 Jan. 2013, pewresearch.org.
6. “How to Get Help Paying for Food, Housing, and Healthcare.” National Council on Aging, ncoa.org.
7. Parker, Kim, and Eileen Patten. “Emotional Ties.” Pew Research Center, 30 Jan. 2013, pewresearch.org.
8. “Loneliness and Social Isolation: Tips for Staying Connected.” National Institute on Aging, nia.nih.gov.